I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
