I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Randomize
