thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I intend to get homeless drunk
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
