Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
should my penis look like a turkey
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
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