your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
