Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
