I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
