he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
