Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
