is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize