Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
