super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well I just put wine in my tea
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
