i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
