Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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