Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
