dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
