he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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