I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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