my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize