Umm I'm too high to move.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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