Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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