I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
