You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
