And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
