She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
its not stalking. its research.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
