I wish you could order shots online.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
we're so committed to being not committed
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
