Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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