Do you still have your period?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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