Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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