I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up under a house in Key West
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