Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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