dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
