Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i think i just lost a toe
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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