as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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