It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
