Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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