Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
