Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
this boner is exhausting
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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