I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It's just like the Real World with babies
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
