I don't remember. Are we still dating?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Randomize
