i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Say something about gay babies.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize