Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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