According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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