I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
