hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
