Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
