Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
