oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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