What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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