Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
