is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
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