Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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