Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
