Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
