I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
