Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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