i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I AM VODKA MAN
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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