alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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