you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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