i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
