it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
