I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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