At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
