I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize