He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My dick has a subreddit
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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