The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
