help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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