too bad you live with your parents still
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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