Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
