Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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