Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize